I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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