We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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