ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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