Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It was a blind-side dick pic.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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