Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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