Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I don't deserve a penis
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
