Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
