butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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