My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
