I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
