Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
