it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
