just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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