Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
