Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
