the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
