Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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