I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
