Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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