You're earring is so big in my mouth
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
