Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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