So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
