Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
