i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
