just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Where are you guys?
Drunk
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
