I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I am naked and annoyed.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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