super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
