i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
