I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
