Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
did you just send me my own nude
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
