he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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