Sponge bath it is.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
