I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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