i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
