i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
