That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Sorry about my life...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
