how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
