Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
