does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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