I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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