dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
