Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
