i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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