I puked a lego.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
