I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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