Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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