when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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