My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize