It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
