walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
