I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
