The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
