he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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