Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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