yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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