No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
