im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
