I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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