I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
