when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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